January really sucks. Right now the weather is so foggy it's hard to get motivated to do anything. Plus there's a lot of really bad movies out. When catching Bloodrayne: The Third Reich on tv is an acceptable Friday night, you know there are problems. Are there any good movies this week to shake up the week long greys? Let's see:
1) HANSEL AND GRETEL - WITCH HUNTERS: The two German children who ran afoul of a witch in a Gingerbread house when they were kids have now grown up and killing witches is their job.
The Good: It's in the same vein as Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
The Bad: This movie defies reviewing. It's either funny or not.
Final Thoughts: I want to see it just because trash movies like this are a guilty pleasure. Just wait! Next it's going to be Joan of Arc: Mummy Hunter or Attila: Zombie Slayer
2) MOVIE 43: A pulp fiction type movie filled with offensive humor.
The Good: Lots of great actors.
The Bad: It's just offensive humor. No rhyme or reason.
Final Thoughts: Movies like this live and die on the idea of shock value. There's nothing more to it than that. It's not worth my time or yours.
3) PARKER: Jason Statham is back to kick butt as a bank robber who is betrayed by his partner. Now he's out for revenge.
The Good: It's Statham. Funny quips, great action, and a cheesy '80s style story.
The Bad: If you aren't a fan, it won't win converts.
Final Thoughts: I feel cursed to watch every Jason Statham movie that comes out. Most of his movies I hate, but I'm just waiting for that next great gem amongst the crap.
4) JOHN DIES AT THE END: A wild new drug is on the streets and aliens are in the skies. It's up to two High School drop outs to save the world. Can they? Probably not.
The Good: This is going to be a trippy movie. Lot's of drug induced images.
The Bad: Don't expect a coherent story.
Final Thoughts: This might just be the best movie out there this month. If you can get in to it. It won't be for the casual movie goer.
See you at the movies.
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