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Friday, March 30, 2012

Coming Soon: 4/6/12

I wasn't sure if I should wait to do this or not.  I have a special trip with my fellow karate students this week and I had to get this done plus my "Movies I want to see" article because, hey, March is just about over!  Weather has really sucked here in the Seattle area.  Nothing but cold and rain.  But now is the time to see what is coming out next week.

1) Titanic 3D: The love story between the poor boy and the wealthy woman on board the infamous Titanic.

The Good: It's a great romantic story set behind one of the most famous boat disasters.

The Bad: You've already seen it.  Probably more than once.  I'm willing to bet most people have it on DVD so why pay for the ticket?

Final Thoughts: It's a great date night movie.  And it is one of the highest grossing movies of all time.  It's a good one and seeing it again on the big screen is awesome.  But I'm just going to ask: Is the 3D really worth it?

2) American Reunion: The American Pie kids are back for their class reunion.

The Good:  I refuse to waste my youth trying to find something good or interesting about this!

The Bad: More outdated sexual humor from a worn, stale franchise.

Final Thoughts: I am so sick of sexual humor.  Watch it if you must but at least admit that every time you laugh, you are acting like every bully you ever knew back in high school.  You're laughing at the sexual misfortunes of others.  Whooptie F***ing do.  "Ha Ha.  He can't get laid.  He's so lame.  What a nerd."  Enjoy.

3) The Hunter: A mercenary is hired to go to Tasmania and find the believed to be extinct Tasmanian Tiger for genetic research.

The Good:  William F***ing DeFoe!  I love this guy.  He's in that same category as Nick Cage.  His movies are usually bad but he's just so much fun.

The Bad: The story is as B movie schlock as it gets.  If you don't like that kind of thing, you're going to hate this movie.

Final Thoughts: I want to see it just because movies like this are usually a laugh riot.

4) ATM: A guy goes to an ATM and is the target of a killer.

The Good: Despite the short/brief description of the movie, it is a strong enough story to build some real good scares.

The Bad: Movies like this are very hit or miss.

Final Thoughts: If you like movies like Buried, Phone Booth, etc. thne this one might appeal to you as well.  But with a weak cast, be prepared for disappointment.

See you at the movies.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Coming Soon: 3/30/12

Busy, busy month.  I got so much going on it's getting crazy.  How about that Hunger Games?  The 3rd highest grossing opening week in history.  Right behind Titanic and Avatar.  Not too shabby.  Plus, it has the bonus of being a really good movie.  Let's see what is coming out this week.

1) Wrath of the Titans: Perseus is back but this time not to fight the Gods, but to help them fight the imprisoned Titans.

The Good: Hard hitting action in an epic fantasy world.

The Bad: The CG sucks, the acting sucks, Clash of the Titans sucked... I don't have much hope for this one.

Final Thoughts: I might see it, but I really don't think it's going to be worth my time.

2) Mirror, Mirror: A more modern retelling of Snow White.

The Good: Julia Roberts is still really hot.

The Bad: It's a live action comedy version of Snow White.

Final Thoughts: There are so many movies being made about Snow White it's getting really old really fast.  I'm far more interested in the Horror version of Snow White.  This looks like a bunch of dated jokes and no heart.  Pass.

3) Goon: A bouncer beats up a pro hockey player and starts his own hockey career.

The Good: It's... uhm... yeah, I got nothing.

The Bad: Comedies like this was old hat back in the 90's.  Remember Happy Gilmore?  Yeah, that was funny because a violent guy started playing a non-violent sport.  What's so funny about a violent guy playing a sport notorious for it's violence?  It would be funnier if Jay Baruchel started playing hockey.

Final Thoughts: It plays hard into the stereotype of overly aggressive hockey players and that if you are big and strong enough, you could play professionally.  Who cares if you don't know how to use a hockey stick as something other than a weapon?  Skating on the ice alone takes a good amount of practice.  Sports farce comedies like this offend me.  I don't want to see "Stiffler on Ice".

See you at the movies

Saturday, March 24, 2012

The Hunger Games review: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!!!

I really liked this movie.  I was a bit skeptical that I would.  The trailers really made it look terrible.  I'm happy I was wrong.  It's obvious this is the first big blockbuster movie of the year.  At the theater I went to, this movie was playing on five different screens.  FIVE!!!  There was a new showing every twenty minutes.  Before I go off on everything I didn't like about the movie (which was pretty minimal considering), here's what I thought really worked:

1) The visual contrast between the wealthy Capital citizens and the poor District citizens was amazing.  It looked like something right out of the French Revolution.  Lots of powder, makeup, the shots of banquets as far as the eye can see, the wigs, the unearthly colors in their hair and clothes, the way they were so impressed by anything really flashy... it was masterfully done.

2) Woody Harrelson really made that role his own.  Really, his character was little more than a cheerleader, but he really took the role and made it something special.  One of the things I didn't like involves this character so more on this later.

3) It captured the level of danger really well.  And I'm not talking just about what happens in the games.  Everywhere we see the jackboot thugs in white that are supposed to pass for a modern day SS.  It's clear that the people in these districts are prisoners in these districts.  The only way out is to win the Hunger Games.

4) I loved how many elements they borrowed from movies like The Truman Show, Gladiator, Romeo & Juliet, Gamer, etc.  There were so many elements to it I could write a paper on it.  But what makes it good is how they combined it all to come up with something unique.

5) The internal philosophy of why they have the games and how the Capital citizens view the games, it all keeps a consistant tone that is just wonderful.  In a movie like this it's easy to lose focus.  The movie is having a lot of fun with the survivalist deathmatch but there is more to the story than that.  It remembered to remind the audience that there is a political element to the games.  It gave us just enough of that without overpowering the fun. 

Now here's what I didn't like:

1) I F***ING F***ING F***ING F***ING F***ING F***ING HATE SHAKY CAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Whenever there's any kind of action, I can't see it.  I know why they do it.  I know that if you could see what was happening, it would look terrible, but that's part of the whole "directing" thing.  Making sure that everything is properly choreographed.  Instead most directors use the shaky cam technique and just take shortcuts.  I HATE IT!!!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

2) The cinematography was atrocious.  It got better as the movie went on, but the first act was shot like the cameraman was drunk.  Everything was too close up and everything was shaking.  Even when they were just walking through a room.  The camera wouldn't stop shaking.  I was giving serious thought to walking out because I was getting some really bad headaches.

3) Haymitch Abernathy.  I really liked Woody Harrelson in this movie but his character just didn't get enough time.  I know they cut a lot of his scenes for time.  Even without what I felt needed to be added, it's still a 2 1/2 hour movie.  Abernathy is such an interesting character.  He was a Hunger Games winner, but he never talked about his experiences.  He was a high volume drunk, until he started to believe these kids had a shot at winning.  Never elaborated on.  He got disgusted when he saw a couple of 5 year olds fake fighting with swords because they don't know anything about death or the inequality of the country.  Never elaborated on.  Abernathy was instrumental in their success.  Constantly kissing butt trying to get them food, medicine, and generally trying to keep them alive when Katniss' actions caused a riot!  Never elaborated on.  I loved this character and he's treated as a peripherial character.  It's a shame really.

4) For someone like me who never read the books, I never really knew why they had these games.  I know it involved some kind of rebellion that happened many years ago and so as punishment the districts have to compete in these deathmatches for the entertainment of the wealthy elite.  But I don't know why they chose to do these games.  (They gave some kind of lipservice answer about ruling through false hope but it makes no sense)  And why is this called "The Hunger Games?"  It's a name I know but there's got to be some reason and I'm curious.

5) Really nothing was resolved in this movie.  They have the games, there's a winner, life goes on unimpeeded.  There's clearly more to the story so expect at least one sequel.

This really was a good movie and I'd recommend it.  Other than the really bad cinematography at times, it's a very enjoyable movie.  Go out to the theaters and watch it.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Coming Soon: 3/23/12

I had a lot of fun watching movies on tv this week.  There were some really good ones.  Also I had a movie night with my friends and my friend Dave chose some really interesting ones.  The worst one I saw was Highlander: The Source.  If you haven't seen it, count your blessings and move on.  Thought about doing a post on it but it's one of those that is better off forgotten if possible.  Well, I still might write about it.  Anyway, here's what is in the theaters this week.

1) The Hunger Games: Nation sends warriors as tribute to compete in an all out death match that the whole country watches.

The Good: It's a very unique story that has a great mix of political intrigue and action.

The Bad: The trailers look really bad.

Final Thoughts: I'm looking forward to it.  I really want to see it.  And I really hope I'm wrong about it looking bad.

2) The Raid: Redemption   : A rookie special forces agent must take on an entire building of hardened criminals.

The Good: Ever watch Die Hard?

The Bad: It's a little light on story.

Final Thoughts: It'll be worth seeing as a good action movie but that's about all it has to offer.

3) The Deep Blue Sea: A rich housewife has a steamy relationship with a Royal Air Force pilot.

The Good: It's a romance movie with heavy detail on time and place.

The Bad: It's every loveless marriage/passionate affair movie ever made.

Final Thoughts: Might be good but you've seen it before.  Make it a rental.

See you at the movies

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Coming Soon: 3/16/12

Oh what a busy weekend this was.  Not many good movies out there but we're going to take a look at what is coming this week.

1) 21 Jump Street: Youthful looking cops go undercover in a high school to break up a drug ring.

The Good: It's a dumb 80s show made into a movie.  You know there are going to be some funny moments.

The Bad: It's a very obscure 80s tv show by this point so not many are familiar with the show.  Plus, no Richard Grieco!

Final Thoughts: The trailers don't look all that good but I'd say give it a shot.  It might surprise.  Just don't take anything in it too seriously.  It's supposed to be stupid.

2) Casa de Mi Padre: A Mexican rancher with financial troubles relies on his brother to help fix things, but when he falls in love with his brother's girlfriend, things go from bad to worse.

The Good: Will Farrell acting goofy in a Spanish accent?  Maybe?

The Bad: It's Will Farrel acting goofy in a Spanish accent in a cheaply done, contrived, SNL skit stretched out over an hour and a half.

Final Thoughts: I won't touch this with a 10 foot pole.

3) Seeking Justice: After his wife is brutally attacked, a man becomes a vigilante.  However, the consequences of his actions come back to bite him.

The Good: Nick Cage.  Enough said.

The Bad: A loud, stupid movie with a perposterous premise starring the king of B movie schlock.

Final Thoughts: If you liked Drive Angry (like me) this movie is down your alley.  If not, keep looking.

4) Jeff, Who Lives at Home: A man looking for purpose to his life goes to buy wood glue but crazy things keep getting in the way.

The Good: A crazy movie with heart.

The Bad: It forces psudo-philosophy on to a lazy 30 year old bum with forced drama.

Final Thoughts: I don't think this movie knows what it wants to be.  It tries too hard to be a soulful experience and a comedy at the same time.  Choose.  Is it comedy or drama?

5) Detachment: A gifted teacher chooses to be a substitute teacher to avoid getting attached to students.  But when he goes to a school with an apathetic student body, he becomes a role model.

The Good: In a world where heroes are in short supply, it's nice to see someone grow and become someone worth looking up to.

The Bad: I can't see how this movie is different than Dangerous Minds, Play it Forward, Dead Poet's Society, or any other school drama starring a teacher.

Final Thoughts: I can't say it'll be a bad movie.  But it won't be all that original.

6) The FP: In a dystopian future, turf wars are fought in the highly competitive and dangerous world of dancing video games.

The Good: It's gangs doing battle in dancing video games.  How can this not be glorious?

The Bad: If you don't like something this absurd, this movie is going to be painful.

Final Thoughts: I really want to see this.  This is the perfect example of so bad, it will live on forever as a cult classic.

See you at the movies

Saturday, March 10, 2012

From the Vault: Death Proof

Made back ion 2007, Death Proof is a ton of fun in a 12 oz bag.  I've told people before I respect the work of Quentin Terantino because he is a student of the game.  Death Proof is a throwback movie to the old exploitation movies of the 1970s.  It's full of women talking about sex and drugs, hanging out in bars, and of course crazy murderers killing just for the sake of fun.  Everything about this movie feels like it was made back in the 1970s; right down to the purposefully horrible edits, abrupt ending, and the opening title sequences.

Death Proof has an impressive cast anchored by Kurt Russell as the wild Stuntman Mike and his car he named "Death Proof", a reinforced stunt car used in movies.  But the most fun comes in the last half hour of the movie.  The car chase.  If this movie is remembered for anything it'll be for having the greatest car chase scene in cinema history.  It's not only pulse pounding, but it's also incredibly funny. 

The beginning of the movie can be really slow and sticks to the Terantino style of a whole lot of clumsy dialogue before all hell breaks loose.  But once you've had your vegetables, you're in for one hell of a treat.  Go see this movie.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Coming Soon: 3/9/12

Sorry, not much in the way of wit coming.  These introductions can be difficult at times and I have a bunch on my mind lately.  But here's what is coming out this week:

1) John Carter: A man is caught up in a Martian war.

The Good: It looks like a good story about the reluctant hero from another planet.

The Bad: The CG effects look really bad and full of action scenes I generally don't like.

Final Thoughts: I'm willing to give this one a shot.  I don't have a whole lot of hope for it, but I'm willing to be proven wrong.  I might go see it.

2) A Thousand Words: A loudmouth is cursed.  He can only speak another 1000 words and then he'll die.

The Good: It's Eddie Murphy doing wacky movies again.  He was great in the Nutty Professor.

The Bad: If you don't know how this movie is going to play out, you've clearly not watched many of these.  Just watch Liar, Liar, The Nutty Professor, Yes Man, etc.

Final Thoughts: It's a waste of time.  It might be funny but I'm guessing a lot of the jokes are just the same tired material used in countless other unsuccessful movies.

3) Silent House: A woman is stuck in a lake house and things get scary.

The Good: It's an experiment in cinematography.  A truely scary movie where who knows what will happen.

The Bad: When experimenting with cinematography things could go really wrong, really quickly.

Final Thoughts: If you like stories about creepy houses, I think this one is going to be up there among the best.

4) Friends With Kids: Two friends decide to have a child together but date other people.

The Good: Unlike other comedies coming out this week (Thousand words *cough*) this is a comedy with something to say.  It's not just crazy stuff happening for the sake of crazy stuff happening.

The Bad: It's a message that might not hit home with the 18-35 crowd.

Final Thoughts: This is the comedy coming out this week you should be watching.

See you at the movies